Anime Academy
by DrunkardMuse
Summary: Eleanor had never recieved mail, especially mail this...colorful. This story parodies every anime sterotype and fandom I can think of, even some non-anime fandoms/sterotypes. Rated T for now, some situations might bump it up though, heh.


**A/N:** Yay for insane rewrites of ancient story ideas, am I right or am I right? Pretty much this is a stab at every fandom I can think of from any form of media, but mostly anime. It was funny because I compared this story to the original and what happens in this chapter covers what 800 words did in the first one. Not saying that longer is better, but I definitely think that description wise it is way better this time around. So tell me what you think in a review and I'll try to update with the next chapter as soon as possible!  
**-DM**

**

* * *

**

Chapter One: Kooning vs Pollock

There weren't too many things in this world that ever worried Eleanor. As long as things continued to be what she viewed as normal and orderly, she was content. Luckily for her, the lovely little world of monotony that she found herself sheltered in provided exactly these "normal" comforts. However, the proceedings of today were about to spark a chain of events that would start some twisted form of an extraordinary adventure.

It all started when the presence of a rather out of place envelope was discovered in her kitchen, Eleanor couldn't help the little twitch that formed in her spine whenever something was about to take a turn for the strange. Now, one might wonder exactly why an _envelope _would cause such a panic. Well, you see, Eleanor never received mail before, especially mail this… colorful. If she were to put it into words on just how colorful this envelope was, she would swear that Jackson Pollock rose from the grave and picked up paints of the most vibrant shade before heading to the nearest post office and went on a creative rampage. He then decided to pay extra special attention to this envelope and turn it into one of his best masterpieces. In all honestly, the girl never even realized that they made envelopes to look like this. It was for this reason that the letter caused Eleanor too feel unease.

Cautiously, Eleanor picked up the envelope as if it could burn her at any moment and ripped open the seal that was there. Inside she found two items. The first was what appeared to be a letter written on rather plain looking stationary while the other was an information pamphlet that was equally (if not more so, if that were even possible) garish as the envelope it came in. Deciding to go with the plainer of the two items, Eleanor unfolded the letter and was surprised to find it to be handwritten in a neatly formed, flowing script.

_Miss Eleanor Donnelly—_

At least the letter wasn't addressed in some sort of outlandish way. Eleanor took comfort in not only familiarity, but formality as well. She wasn't sure if she could handle this if the letter started out in some bizarre way. One might wonder why Eleanor had such a weak constitution, seeing as she was nearly frightened by an envelope and it's perfectly innocent contents. The only explanation I can offer is that Eleanor was in fact, a schlemiel and whenever something remotely odd happened to her (usually through the conspiring of her mother) it ended very, very horribly. Needless to say, she was one of the poster children for Murphy's Law. Gathering up the courage, Eleanor proceeded to actually _read _the letter.

_You have been accepted to attend our fine institution this coming year…_

The rest of the letter continued in basic explanations as to who to contact to confirm the receiving of the letter, when the first day school—_these people were already anticipating that she would accept?—_was, and indicating that the packet that still remained in the envelope was indeed what it appeared to be, an informational pamphlet. The letter itself was not signed with any name, simply the title of _Headmaster_. Just this detail alone started to make Eleanor question the validity of this letter and if this whole thing was a joke. As far as she could remember, she had never sent in her information to any sort of academic institution. Turning her gaze to the brochure still in the envelope with seemingly seizure induced splatters on it, she decided to investigate this matter further. Perhaps the contents of the obnoxiously colored papers would give her some insight as to what was going on.

Eleanor hardly read fifteen words when she had to put the pamphlet down, not entirely sure what to think. _Our academy has been the leading institution for students aspiring to become anime characters… _The girl might have been slightly more skittish than those who were—well—_sane_, but she was perfectly able to interpret the meaning of this sentence on her own. What this pamphlet was saying was there was actually a school dedicated to anime. And when using her brilliant skills in deduction, Eleanor was able to piece together that with the implications of the letter _and _the packet combined meant that she had been invited to attend this so called school that had a curriculum based around becoming an anime character. _Oh wait—_Eleanor thought to herself as she continued to read—_it says here that students may also be videogame characters. Well, _she thought with grim sarcasm, _at least I have __**options**__! _Now the girl was absolutely certain that this had to be a joke, but who would so something as ridiculous as this?

It only took .01 seconds of consideration for her to come up with a conclusion. There could only be one group that would even think of doing this. While Eleanor never did see the point in the form of entertainment, she had several friends that were obsessed beyond what she believed to be a healthy level. 'Otaku' was the term they preferred to be called. It didn't stop Eleanor from calling them fanatics. She would have to interrogate a few of them tomorrow and see what they knew of this envelope and its content's origins.

Realizing that interrogating her friends would get her nowhere and it would only fuel her friends' desires to annoy her more, Eleanor just sighed before throwing the envelope and its contents into the nearby garbage can without a second thought.

0-0-0-0

A week had passed and Eleanor, being so busy with the distractions that summer vacation had to offer, had forgotten all about the bizarre letter that had arrived for her. However, all distractions came to a screeching halt when a _second _envelope was discovered on her kitchen counter. Eleanor wasn't sure if she should laugh or let out a small scream of frustration, so she decided just to pick up the envelope and stare at it for a bit. When a headache started to form from staring at the blinding colors, she decided she might as well open it to quell her building curiosity. Inside was a letter on the same plain stationary, written in the same handwriting as the last.

_Miss Eleanor Blake—_

_The offer still stands._

_--Headmaster_

It was another letter from this "Headmaster" person who seemed to enjoy sending her random letters to non-existent schools for nutcases. Despite being annoyed by this, Eleanor suddenly started feeling somewhat paranoid. She felt as if this "headmaster" person knew very well that she had thrown this letter's predecessor into the garbage and he was doing this just to be persistent. But it did make her wonder, was it possible that a school such as this "Anime Academy" really exist? No, she couldn't be having outlandish thoughts such as that, of course it didn't exist.

"Hey Elle," the voice of Eleanor's sister, Samantha, brought her from her reverie back into reality. Turning to face her older sibling, she found that Samantha was sitting at the kitchen table, sipping her coffee as it weren't ninety something degrees outside.  
"What is it, Samantha?" Eleanor asked, her voice coming out in a more exhausted tone than she would have wished. Rising from her seat, Samantha walked over and plucked the envelope from her baby sister's hands and waved it around a bit as she spoke.  
"Last time you got one of these, you had quite the reaction before you stashed it away in the trash so naturally when a second one of these wound up, I was intrigued. I mean, who wouldn't be? The thing looks like Willem de Kooning got bored in the afterlife and decided to doodle on this thing!" Pausing for a moment, Eleanor looked at the envelope in her hands, she could have sworn that it matched Jackson Pollock's style better, but after a few moments of observation, he could see where her sister made that certain connection.

After coming to a proper conclusion that the envelope indeed did look somewhat like a Kooning piece, Eleanor wondered what her sister was getting at. However, she didn't question it aloud and silently gave her sister the cue that she should continue. "Anyways, like I was saying… I was interested in what this was all about so I looked up this "Anime Academy" and guess what I found?" Eleanor rolled her eyes, her sister always seemed to be a fan of rhetorical questions and so she just motioned once more with her hands to get on with whatever revelation she was about to reveal before she lost her patience. "The place is real." Samantha laughed as she spoke and Eleanor just furrowed her brows in response.

This "Anime Academy" was real? There was no way that could be true, not in Eleanor's perfect little universe. Before she could question her sister's discovery, however, another voice interrupted. A voice that made Eleanor's eyes go wide with fear. It belonged to the last person that Eleanor wanted to find out about these letters, especially given the fact that this place was _real_. "Hey there girls, how are my favorite two—ooh! Eleanor got a letter!" Eleanor twitched, realizing now that there was no hiding the letter, she was doomed.

You see, when it was mentioned before that Eleanor lived a comfortable life of monotony, there was always one thing that constantly tried to remedy that. This force of nature was also known as her mother. Yet, despite their differences, Eleanor had learned to deal with her mother's eccentricities and there was nothing that the woman could do to surprise her anymore. At least, until she did something unexpected that even the girl would never expect. However, those stories were all irrelevant at the moment. Now, all that mattered was the impending argument that Eleanor knew she was most likely going to lose, but damnit she would give it her all.

"What do you know," her mother continued as if her daughter's horrified look meant nothing, "this one is _exactly _like the last one!" _The… last… one? _As if by magic, her mother produced the now slightly stained, slightly wrinkled envelope. Not even giving her daughter the time to stutter incoherently, her mother held up the first envelope with a triumphant grin. "I found this one in the garbage as I was about to pour the remainder of those rancid smelling leftovers in the back of the fridge for _God knows _how long!" Eleanor decided not to question her mother's new found habit of digging the garbage as she cursed herself for not being more careful in the disposal of the letter. Suddenly, her mother turned serious—as close to serious as the woman could get, at least—and looked at her daughter. "You _are _planning on going, aren't you?"  
"I am _not_!" Eleanor protested.  
"Why not?" Her mother had the grace to sound mildly confused by her daughter's objections. "I always thought you wanted to do one of those exchange programs, isn't this the perfect opportunity?"  
"Mom, when I said exchange program, I didn't mean nuthouse." Some emotion flickered across her mother's eyes then, something that looked very close to offence, but Eleanor could not be too sure and right now she couldn't waste time pointing out such trivial things. Now all that mattered was the argument at hand.  
"Yeah mom," Samantha interjected, surprising Eleanor. Usually her sister found joy in watching these arguments, but now she was actually _defending _her? "Exchange programs are meant to experience a different culture. Sending Eleanor to be around her own kind would hardly be beneficial." Alright, so her sister was still against her. Now all there was only one thing that needed to be done. Find arsenic and find a way to slip it into her sister's coffee. No jury would ever dream of convicting her. Eleanor's mother was not phased as she continued to speak.  
"Oh, come on Eleanor, where is your sense of adventure?" Eleanor sighed, last time her mother had used that particular argument, she had ended up going on a five hour long tour of a stamp factory where they watched stamps going from their humble beginnings to the exhilarating conclusion of finally being licked and put on an envelope. However, that is a story for another time.

Needless to say, the two started an argument that left Samantha in awe as she watched it with the avid interest similar to one watching spectacular events at the Gloucester's Cheese Rolling and Wake competition unfold. Then suddenly, after an unknown amount of time, it was evident that Eleanor's counter arguments were coming at a slower speed and by the look on her face her will was crumbling. "Eleanor," her mother said calmly, her hands folded neatly in front of her, resting on the table. "Just go for a year. That's all I'm asking." Eleanor let out a weary sigh and sunk into the last available seat at the kitchen table, across from her mother.  
"Fine." Samantha, now realizing it was over, got up from her seat and poured out the rest of her now cold coffee into the sink before disappearing into some unknown room in the house. Eleanor's mother smiled and reached across the table, patting her daughter's hand thoughtfully.  
"Good." As an afterthought she added, "You won't regret it, trust me." Eleanor highly doubted this, but smiled nonetheless.


End file.
